I used to write a lot of things in my spare time, These are some of my favorites that I have wrote.
THE SHORT STORY OF THE KID IN ENGLISH CLASS
One day there was a kid. He was sitting in English class. The teacher told him he had to write a short story. He was sitting there waiting for the teacher to tell him what about. Before the teacher spoke, the kid noticed there was a tinge of silence.
The teacher said “All you have to do is write a short story, and turn in your first paragraph so i can review it.”
The kid revolted by saying “Well I can’t write a short story. I don’t know how!”
All the teacher did was stare at him. So he started to think. He thought and thought, He thought so hard he finally thought so something. He wrote
Yo Mark, what are you doing? I found a dog on the street. I went to it go see if it was still alive, it was.
When the teacher saw she laughed.
“You have to do better boy.”
“Fine.” He replied sadly.
He then wrote this story,
I was sitting there and the Evil Evil teacher told me to write something, a story. I said NO! I will not write a story! she starts to pull out a sword so I pulled out my gun and...
“No! Write something else!”
The kid sat there and wrote this,
One day there was a kid. He was sitting in English class...
THE SQUIRREL AND THE JACKAL
One day Jimmie a lovely squirrel was walking to school. On his way to school he saw a jackal sitting on the ground. Jimmie walked over to the jackal and with a big grin on his face asked “Wah’cha doing?” The jackal looked up with big blue eyes and responded “I’m playing with some rocks.”
Confused Jimmie asked “Well I don’t see any rocks around here, How in the world are you playing with rocks?”
“They took them!” The jackal replied while pointing to a group of foxes.
Angry Jimmie marched over to the group and yelled “Hey! You Num’Nut! You took my friends rocks! I would like you to give them back!”
The group of foxes turned around a looked at Jimmie, that is when Jimmie noticed that they were bigger than him. ‘Dang the guys have to be in the Fifth grade!’ Jimmie thought to himself.
Jimmie wasn’t ready to die, he had not even found a friend yet! In the background Jimmie could hear the jackal yelling “Hey you leave my friend alone!” the jackal marched right up to the group.
once he got there he just stared into Jimmie’s eyes with fright. Both of them knew what was coming, they both knew that they were going to die.
But as luck would have it, the school bell rang and the group of foxes just walked away. Jimmie turns to the jackal “Thanks for sticking up for me, My name is Jameson by the way... but people just call me Jimmie!” The jackal responds “Thanks for helping me, My name is Jack... People just call me Jack though...”
Walking way together Jimmie says “I think we are going to be good friends!”
A THOUGHT TRUE TO YOU
Roses are Red,
Something is Blue,
I couldn't think of anything,
So this is for you!
Your smile is creepy,
Something about beauty,
Eyes like glue?,
They will stick to you?
(That can't be right... can it?)
You're a gift from the devil,
They made you in Los Angeles,
That guy I feared,
Since I was eleven!
You came in to my life,
And you turned it upside down,
You're an absolute dick,
worth more than a kick!
I promise you everything,
Everything in my heart,
I promise to hate you,
as long as I live!
You're my absolute world,
You mean nothing to me,
And you always shall be!
This was something I thought up real quick for valentine's day...
It is a parody of A Thought True To You © Sean Raine
You can find the original here : http://goo.gl/nijUs :
If you couldn't tell I really do not like valentine's day...
MORE COMING SOON
I'm currently working on a couple of writings.